A Scanner Darkly

What happened? How did i get here?

[Bangs his head into a cabinet door]

The pain, so unexpected and undeserved, for some reason cleared away the cobwebs.

I realized I didnt hate the cabinet door, I hated my life, my house, my family, my backyard, my powermower.

Nothing would ever change, nothing new could ever be expected.
It had to end and it did.

Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things and surprising things and sometimes little wondrous things spill out at me constantly, and I can count on nothing.

Another monologue I loved from the movie, A Scanner Darkly:

I saw death rising from the earth,
from the ground itself,
in one blue field.

[picks up a blue flower]

A present for my friends...
at Thanksgiving.

Quirk: The title for the book/movie is derived from this passage from the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13:

For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is
perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a
child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but
when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass,
darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as
also I am known.