Strangers
Two paths met in an amber wood, a bright day 'twas,
No frost, no rain, just plenty sunshine.
You walked up your path, and I ambled up mine.
We spoke of the weather, betwixt glances and nods. Strangers’ rituals
Soon turning to whispers and caresses of pleasure.
The magic of nectar had our hearts aflutter.
Don't count the minutes, just linger a while,
Just another hour, come here, let’s play.
Desires a thousand, my eyes could say.
But time and choices, like darts released,
Urge us to move on, on paths apart.
As strangers we met, and as strangers we depart.
iyer
(inspired by Frost, inspired by U)
10 comments:
Hmmm. Am not a big fan of rhyme or the other 'poetic' elements, as of free verse, so not sure if my comments are relevant here. Having said that, I admit, I like the last line. But how is it inspired by Frost? His form of poetry was more like prose.. or was it the "two paths"? :)
Poetry to me is anything that touches the soul intimately. "Strangers" doesn't touch any chord in me :( Your prose attempts were more soulful. The honest opinion that you asked for :)
Ranj,
Thanks for dropping by, and ofcuz all comments are relevant, considering there hasn’t been much activity here for a while! :D
Writing poetry, especially one that rhymes is very difficult for me, but this is my first attempt.
Frost's poems come in all shades, some with more rhyme, and others with less. What inspires and draws me to him is his boyish inquisitiveness, his intimacy with nature.
With these words I don’t hope to touch souls, only to tickle your thoughts.
Thanks again for the (honest) comments.
iyer
Sounds like unfulfilled love there Iyer.....
Machee
Kind of poetry that needs a puff or two to seep in......
half-baked.... missed a verse or two.
keep it coming.
Lolly
Dropping in after a very long time...the activity has been slow in genertal in the blog world and everyone seems braindead..!!??!!?!
..need something to wake up the neighbourhood..
Iyer..an interesting attempt and I did enjoy reading it..coz it reveals a little secret embedded somewhere within..*maybe?*..at least i'm hoping it is so I can badger you about it..lol...but your prose is definitely and absolutely engrossing:)
Lets threaten our brains a little and churn out some more works of art:) ..cheers..
Machee: everything sounds like unfulfilled love to you these days...lol...just take a trip to BKK and visit her lah!
Lolly: thanks for the input. yeah, wanted to put in one more verse - just after he meets her and just before they say goodbye - but that time was priceless, and inexpressible in words ;)
Shuchi: True, blog world (among our frenz) has been asleep. write provocative stuff, thats wat me and lolly have in mind. lets see how it goes!
and for U, who didn’t comment: hope you liked the little poem ;)
iyer
Iyer..
did you actually intend the subtle play of words that I picked up on???
*wondering*
anony,
if u know me, u wud know the answer too! :)
and while u r wondering, drop me a note @ u know where...
iyer
really well written..keep those sparks of brilliance coming:)
devo
thanks for visiting...
iyer
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