Give me back my marbles!
…no pun intended.
A long long time ago…when I was in 5th grade, Fortune smiled and made me heir to a fine collection of marbles. My cousin, who had taken years to put together the dazzling and mesmerizing collection of motley hued glass orbs, suddenly found himself too old to be associated with them.
The best way to amplify my joy was to share a part of the collection, albeit a small proportion, with my best buddy – D. I chose 2-dozen of the precious little ones and packed them in a cardboard box, with cotton and all, to ensure their safe journey. When I presented it to D he was overjoyed but did give one of those – “Are u sure?” – looks. I was very sure, after all, in those days, best friends solidified their relationship with the exchange of marbles.
A couple of weekends later the weather got a little rough. D and myself were at the peak of a cold war. I had pretty much exhausted all my weapons when the devil whispered in my ears – “Take them back! If he is not your friend, he doesn’t deserve the gift!” And then I did the unthinkable – walked up to D and asked him to return the gift. He did, unceremoniously, and I sat back confused and horrified at my childishness.
This incident comes back to me today, with Australian donors for the tsunami relief holding Indonesia ransom and demanding a review of the court’s verdict sentencing Schapelle Corby to 20 years in prison.
Strange, but even back then, as a child, I felt there was something really wrong to hold someone ransom to the gifts you give them, and worse, to vilify the relationship by taking them back. If a child can realize this, why can't these adults?
With D and me things were back to normal soon after and today we can think back and laugh at the whole thing. But some mistakes linger to haunt generations. Are the Australians heading that way?
Iyer
14 comments:
Someone gave me a gift once too. I cherished it, treasured it...until one fateful day, 6 years later.. I returned the remains (a chocolate wrapper-needless u know what happened to the gift!) in a sealed envelope, with a letter of regret. I was betrayed and this was the only way I knew to regain any respect...lol!
Well, one day, I hope Indonesia too will be able to do the same...aah..sweet revenge..it would teach those aussies a much needed lesson or two in humility!
Gifts are given for a reason...and more than the thing it's the moment you and they treasure...taking it back is as if you're taking back a memory..
I could never do that..never have...however mad i'm at someone , in whatever state of mind, I always reason out why at THAT time I had given a gift..or why I was given a gift...and it all seems to be ok..:)
Even if all strings have been broken..it's fun to look back..and smile..coz when i lived that moment it was beautiful..
Nothing compares the response wou get from someone when they receive something they wanted..specially if it was dear to u..like your marbles....
Hmm well if i go on i'll become too philosophical..so i shall rest my case...*grin*
Oops almost forgot...nice post...and the story brought out the message well too..
glad u n D laugh at it now..:)
A gift is a a voluntary transfer of property without compensation.
And I think the donor has every right to ask it back if he/she feels that the donee has not valued it enough or doesnt value it any more.
I dont think you can apply it straight forward to Australia and Indonesia. A gift is usually given driven by a single motive/intention.
And when you are talking about two nations, these might not hold true.
Cheers
Lolly
Amrita - a chocolate wrapper treasured for 6 years...the someone must have been real special. But revenge wasn’t as sweet as u had hoped for, right? It never is...
Shuchi - u r alwez so supportive :)
Lolly - true, we r not exactly comparing marbles to marbles here. Let’s keep aside the regional politics first.
The motivations for an Australian donor have not changed. The people of Aceh’s suffering have not been reversed. There is no sensible link between their suffering and their religion, race or judicial fairness.
Talking about "valuing" the donations - as long as the donations are funding the rebuilding effort, Australians shouldn't have any issue. There is no evidence of this money having helped the Indonesian courts to come to their verdict.
Machee - where is ur comment? U get so worked up on these issues usually?
iyer
Iyer,
you got me wrong here.
I am not judging the credibility of the link between your marble tale and current indo-oz issue as none of us are in the best of positions to do so.
All I'm saying as an individual you have the right to ask your gift back and theres no shame or guilt in it.You can atleast ask the tangible stuff back.
Cheers
Lolly
Reminds me of a similar childhood experience. But really, how petty iyer! Tsk Tsk! ;)
Hmm How did i miss that news story about Australia and Indonesia. Well all these pledges of aid are a sham anyway. 70% of the promoised pledges are never given.As for the rest the donor countries will demand that the aid should be used as they see fit and not according to the needs of the affected country. No wonder it was a shock to most countries when our "Poor India"(from the view point of developed countries) refused any offer of aid.
As far as taking back gifts are concerned, I cant understand how you can have a 'single motive' for giving it(that sounds a bit selfish atleast the wording of it).
Machee
Hey Iyer,
speaking of fights between friends, I was reminded of our fight during first year of Uni over a 1 litre packet of juice. We almost had a fist fight with some kicking. Then 5 minutes later we are hugging each other and apologising to one another.This incident was partly responsible for strengthening our friendship and thinking about this always brings smiles to my face. I guess all fights dont result in enimity.
Machee
ok machee
have you ever given a gift with more than one motive
can u give me an example?
Lolly
ya..it was from someone who didn't turn out to be so special after all..sigh, the heartbreak!! lol..
oops ya..I wish I had the wrapper back now :( sob...I'm a sentimental slob..
Moral of the story - never gift anyone something that you treasure :p you would miss it later.
vortex,
u r very unlike your name...
instead of churning people's thoughts you are summarizing and putting an end to the story... ;)
thanks for dropping by. give us ur blog url if u have one.
iyer
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